Concerned Citizens of Today

[gnubunny]

I had an heated debate today, concerning single mothers and should a single guy with no kids and never been married date should date a single mother?

My answer was no to this question.
This sparked a fire storm, from two Sergeants (SGT) in the office I work in.

They asked me why. So I told them, if a female has a kid and has never been married then it shows a lack of responsibility. This of course does not apply to all single mothers, but from my experience and view point this seems to be the case. Plus I will avoid a lot of drama.

The way they were talking to me, it made it seem like I am the only single guy that was like this so I did a quick google search and it appears I am not the only person.

What do you guys think.

[otter272]

Well, I can only speak from experience but I don't see a problem with it.

My wife was a single mother when we got together and I had never had children.

We've been together now for 7 years and everything is great.
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-- Otter --

[elisabethsmommy]

yeah, i can't really agree with the lack of responsibility argument. granted, i'm sure it does play a part in some cases, however, i think it's wrong to place all responsibility on the mother. in my opinion, the best way to show responsibility is by raising the child, whether alone or not.

[iamasoonerfan]

It's hard for me to say since I'm not in that situation but I think it depends on the circumstances. Obviously each case is different, but I could see it from either point of view. If the single mother was irresponsible and that's why she is in the situation then it could make sense, but at the same time like Judy said, they are choosing to raise the kid(s) so that shows some responsibility. I of course also think that the responsibility would lay with the father as well, but that doesn't seem to play into this discussion.

[otter272]

Well, again, I can only speak from experience.

I have dated several single mothers (including my current wife) and I can't remember any of them having been irresponsible.

However, I can also say that it would not surprise me if those girls were in a very small minority of single mothers.
_________________
-- Otter --

[gnubunny]

Interesting. My experience has been the opposite concerning single mothers. I know quite a few, and all of them come across as not very responsible in that regard. This is not all of them mind you, just the majority of the ones i know.

Are they better off for it yup.

But for me I think it is just better to avoid it.

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